Abstract
Restlessness, boredom, and a feeling of being stuck are uncomfortable, and many physicians respond by numbing rather than listening. This article reframes those so-called negative emotions as growth signals rather than problems to avoid. Drawing on the Motivational Triad (Lisle & Goldhamer, 2006), research on discomfort and personal development (Woolley & Fishbach, Psychological Science, 2022), and vivid analogies from lobster biology and bison behavior, the authors argue that leaning into discomfort, rather than fleeing it, is the mechanism of genuine growth. Seven domains of physician life are examined where turning toward discomfort produces measurable gains, from mental mastery and relationships to financial health and new experiences. The central reframe: avoiding discomfort doesn't prevent it, it trades productive discomfort for the quieter, more corrosive discomfort of being stuck.
Key Findings:
- ● The Motivational Triad, seek pleasure, avoid pain, conserve energy, is an evolutionary survival mechanism that reliably interferes with modern human growth and fulfillment when left unexamined (Lisle & Goldhamer, 2006).
- ● In a five-experiment study of ~2,000 adults, participants encouraged to view discomfort as a signal of personal growth were more motivated, engaged, persistent, and open to difficult information than those given generic learning instructions (Woolley & Fishbach, Psychological Science, 2022).
- ● Avoiding discomfort doesn't eliminate it, it trades the productive discomfort of growth for the corrosive discomfort of boredom, restlessness, and complacency, while adding numbing behaviors that create additional harm.
- ● Poor boundaries in relationships are reliably predicted by low tolerance for discomfort; conversely, mastering discomfort tolerance is directly associated with improved relationship satisfaction (Killian, LPC).
- ● Reframing discomfort as a signal of progress, rather than a sign of failure, is a learnable cognitive shift that increases motivation and persistence across diverse domains, from exercise and nutrition to emotional processing and political openness.
The Motivational Triad: our evolutionary brain vs. our growth
🍭
Seek pleasure
Drives toward comfort, reward, and easy satisfaction, helpful for survival, unhelpful for growth.
🛡️
Avoid pain
Keeps us away from discomfort at all costs, including the productive discomfort needed to change and expand.
⚡
Be efficient
Conserves energy by defaulting to familiar patterns, the enemy of deliberate effort and new skill development.
The reframe: what discomfort actually signals
⚠ Old interpretation
Discomfort = something is wrong
Leads to avoidance, numbing, and staying stuck, trading growth discomfort for the quieter misery of stagnation.
✓ Growth reframe
Discomfort = the work is working
Research shows this reframe increases motivation, persistence, and openness, the same discomfort, radically different outcome.
Seven domains where turning toward discomfort pays off
- 🧘 Mental mastery
Meditation, even a few minutes daily, builds metacognition and emotional regulation over time.
- 🎸 New experiences
Learning a skill at novice level is uncomfortable, it's also exactly how new brain connections form.
- 💰 Financial health
Avoiding finances feels easier short-term, but not knowing weighs heavily. Getting started reduces stress dramatically.
- 🐃 Facing the storm (bison principle)
Bison walk through storms rather than flee them, arriving at the other side faster. The same applies to hard decisions and difficult emotions.
- 🏃 Exercise & nutrition
Reframing the discomfort of healthy habits as progress dramatically improves follow-through.
- 💬 Better relationships
Boundary-setting requires tolerating discomfort; those who can't tolerate it reliably have poor boundaries.
- 📥 Declutter & inbox zero
Clutter and unread emails are procrastination made physical. Progress over perfection, one item at a time.
"By setting our lives up to avoid uncomfortable emotions like failure, embarrassment, conflict, and struggle, we end up getting other uncomfortable emotions like boredom, restlessness, and complacency. Discomfort may merely be a necessary signal that it's time to grow."
Publication details:
JOURNAL
Common Sense (AAEM)
VOLUME / ISSUE
Vol. 30, No. 6, pp. 9–10, 12
PUBLISHED
November/December 2023
AUTHORS
Amanda Dinsmore, MD; Kendra Morrison, DO; Laura Cazier, MD
SERIES
The Whole Physician
PUBLISHER
American Academy of Emergency Medicine (AAEM)
