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Hey guys. Welcome back to the podcast. I'm Amanda. I'm Laura. And I'm Kendra. And today we have an amazing guest that you are gonna love. Dr. Dina Schweitzer is a veteran, a board certified urogynecologist, a mom, a fashionista. And I happen to have insider information that she also is an excellent chef.
She's absolutely fabulous. Now, Laura, Kendra, and I feel strongly that what we teach makes a difference, but it's often a whole lot more believable when somebody else shares their story. So thank you so much for joining us today, Dina.
Oh, well, thanks for having me. I'm glad to be here. Dina, tell us a little bit about your training, family, what makes you happy, et cetera. Well, I'm older than all of you sitting in front of me. So way back in the day I went to the Uniform Services University and then after graduation, I went to Tripler Army Medical Center in Honolulu and that's where I met my spouse or my soon to be spouse.
I was general surgery, he was OB. I had the intent, at least I thought to do [00:01:00] vascular surgery. But about halfway through that first year I was like, maybe urology's the way to go. In the military, when you are looking at some pretty competitive residency programs, you often have to go out and do general practice or hang out with the infantry if you're an army person like I was.
So I did that for three years and then came back. And then I actually entered the OB program. My husband had just graduated. So then I did that. And then I was done in 2000 because of where I went to school. Instead of paying with money, you pay with time. So it's a seven year commitment and I'd already done three.
So we spent the next two years in Kentucky at Fort Campbell, and then we spent the last two years at Fort Carson in Colorado. And during that I did a six month deployment to Iraq. After that
we moved to Pennsylvania, which is his home, and we spent 20 years there. We were two out of three in an OB practice, so we took two out of three call. We had little kids and we did that for a decade. Oh my gosh. Yeah, my passion was surgery, so as was [00:02:00] my spouse. So in 2014 I dropped obstetrics so I could at least not have a 20 minute response time to the hospital as well as to focus on some urogyn because that was becoming something that the American Board of Medical Examiners was gonna actually let you take a test and become board certified.
So my husband and I both did that in 2015. So, and then we've spent the 20 years there and then we recently have moved to Alabama. Amazing. Alabama's lucky to have you. Well, thank you for the welcome. You talked about things that make me happy.
Well, medicine used to make me happy but things outside of medicine, as Amanda mentioned, I love to cook. I thought maybe I can do a second career, open up a supper club, although my husband prefers that I did not do that 'cause the time commitment, but I love fashion. Anybody who knows me, I dress to the nines and it doesn't matter for what event, what day of the week.
I really miss that now that I'm not working. I like to scuba dive. I like to travel. I like music. I do underwater photography, and I love to garden. So yeah, the laundry list goes [00:03:00] on and on of all the things I really like to do. As I'd mentioned we were in Pennsylvania and I was very unhappy in my career.
When I reached out to you all or started to look at least, I had been about two months where I had stopped working for my employer. And although that was helping a lot of the things I was suffering from burnout, it still was not fixing some of the root causes that, you know, I was in.
So I was in such a bad place that I really was like, well, I just have to do something. I was already seeing a therapist and taking medications for depression and anxiety, but I'm like, you know, I really have nothing to lose. So I started to Google that search and you guys were doing, I think Wellness 911 was one of the things you guys were talking about.
And I'm like, well, you know, therapy costs this much per hour and you guys have a deal going, so I'm just gonna, I'm gonna take it and run. So I did. I'm so glad you did. Yes, me too. Tell us about your life or practice before coaching. Well, in a nutshell, [00:04:00] it was horrible. Yeah, at the time I did not realize that I really had burnout.
I probably had burnout for at least 10 years, if not longer. And it was just little by little and it wasn't one thing, it was just a culmination of so many things. You know, we were in a very large beast of a medical system. We kept getting bought out and bought out 'cause we were employed and we were just focusing on urogyn, but we were two of the two and a half that were covering, you know, 400 mile radius.
We were trying to put our footprint everywhere 'cause you know, you've got competition, et cetera, but the demands of doing that mean that. You know, my husband's going 200 miles one way, and I'm going 60 miles the other way. We had offices in probably six locations. We were operating in four, sometimes five hospitals.
The joke I used to say, and it's kind of tongue in cheek, was it was like 50 states. You didn't know anybody. No one knew what you wanted, even if you told them. Nursing staff didn't have your phone number, so you never got called. Anesthesia didn't know what you liked. It just [00:05:00] went on and on and on.
Staff didn't wanna be hired because they didn't wanna travel. It was miserable. I mean, it was like, you know, I'm almost 60 years old. I do not wanna be doing this at all. And then it was never, at least to me, it was never good enough. There were, you know, Press Ganey scores and you need 90, 95% and you, you should be seeing more patients and, you know, all the demands that most medical systems, medicine, you know, the institution are gonna put on you and you're just trying to
stay afloat and somehow, some way retrospectively. I am stunned that I withstood this for so long. I just really never knew until I could really step away from it. How one bad it was, but two how long I was just trying to make it work. And then my husband, who was my business partner, we practiced together.
I know that's really strange. And no, we'd said even if we got divorced, we could probably still work together, but he did not want me to stop working. He was, you know, you lose the [00:06:00] revenue and he loses his partner. So, you know, you had that demand too. So it was. It was not pretty at all. So, yeah.
That sounds like a nightmare. Mm-hmm. I'm amazed you made it as long as you did. That was just crazy. So what hesitations or doubts did you have before deciding to work with us? Really, I think because of what I mentioned, I had already left my employer. I didn't know if I was gonna go back and seek out work somewhere else.
I knew that my spouse was going to leave just because the work environment was very toxic. Since we're both urogynecologists and that's pretty sub-specialized, you have to go to a really major medical center to get two people on board at the same time. And I just was not in a mental place that I could just pick up
a new job somewhere and think that it was just gonna be hunky-dory. So after I left medicine, I was like, you know, I better, I'm not suicidal. But I'm still not, I'm still [00:07:00] not happy. I just, it's like I need to get over all this stuff. All those things were still bugging me. So when I started to look, I just was like,
I really had that mentality. I mean, if acupuncture would've worked, I would've done that. If, I don't know, buying a dog would've done it. I would, I was willing to do whatever I had and I didn't feel vulnerable. I didn't feel I was in, you know, oh boy, this might not work out. Okay, some money, but you know, gosh, I've spent money on
clothing and alcohol and therapy and medicine. So, I mean, sheesh, what's, what's a few hundred bucks? You know? And so, and I'm like, the other thing is you were not affiliated with the institution that I worked. 'Cause a lot of times they'll do that. And there was no way that I was gonna get coaching from the institution where I
did not care to be at. I thought, my gosh, that'll probably be used against me. So yeah. So for me, maybe different than a lot of people, I, it was like, just bring it, just show me something. I'm willing to try anything. So, I would say too, like even [00:08:00] institutions where we partner with the institution to provide coaching for their docs, that's so important to us
to be clear that we are a third party and we are here only for the doctors. It's always in the institution's best interest for the doctors to be feeling better and enjoying their work. And that's our goal. I mean, I don't understand how these institutions like, oh, we're gonna train our administrators as coaches.
Like, what? Who's gonna buy that? I mean, I don't know. I wouldn't, I wouldn't trust that, so what specific shifts or breakthroughs did you experience
during coaching? There were so many, so when you guys asked me this question, I was like, oh man, I gotta go look at my notes 'cause so sorry, you know that doctor part of you, but mm-hmm. Still there. So probably the first one, and again, I did my coaching with Amanda, so I didn't do it with everyone. I was like, she and I just clicked.
So that's kind of what we did or that's what I chose to do. She didn't have a choice, so. That one day, it was probably second coaching, maybe it was the first coaching [00:09:00] I was expressing to her that one of my biggest personality traits, or the way I'm wired is I let the world and everybody around me give me value.
And I think a lot of people in medicine do that because that helps, you know, when you help somebody and you do a good job and you know, people are appreciative of the things and the work that you do and the time that you've spent, they usually will reward you by saying thank you or, you know, you fix the ladies, whatever, you know, those types of things.
But she said to me that, you have to realize that the world is a bunch of apples and you're not an apple. So the apples judge on apples. And since you're not one of those, that's why that often happens. But you know, you're a peach and there's nothing wrong with you. It's just that apples don't get you.
You have to be a peach for someone to get you. And I felt like even my own colleagues didn't really get me. I said, well then I'm a purple peach, so I walk around telling people I'm still a purple peach. I didn't wear purple for that purpose today. But the [00:10:00] times that I've said that to people, they're just looking at me.
I'm like, trust me, it's okay to be a purple peach. You just have to be around purple peaches every once in a while to give you a stroke. So you don't think you're losing your mind. So, yeah. It, it put in perspective that. I am in a world of apples, but I'm giving apples all of this power to influence how I feel about myself, and they don't know any better.
So it's not a blame, it's just I need to, one, listen to myself, and then I need people like Amanda's purple peaches to help solidify that I'm not out of my mind and am I the one that's in the wrong and am I the crazy one? And you know, and that you really start to believe this because it's just inundated.
It doesn't matter where I was in medicine, it was just nuts. So that was probably the most prolific thing. It's kind of funny and cute at the same time, but. The other thing that I remember is that you all have talked about how your brain wants to be on a race track.
You know, [00:11:00] and during our coaching session, I call it the Autobahn 'cause you can go as fast as you can round and round. You're never getting off. Your brain just wants to get right on there and it's gonna take you for a ride. And that's that. I have a thought that leads to a feeling that leads to an action.
And you just are on the racetrack before you ever know it. And you've done that for however many years you've been alive, and this becomes this bad, I'll call it a habit, but it's so used to it. It's easy to do. So now you have to tell yourself, you're not getting on the racetrack today. I know that somebody may not have liked what you did, or maybe you didn't feel like somebody appreciated what, whatever the issues are, or they don't agree with you, but you can't go get on that racetrack and beat yourself up about it every day.
Yeah. And so it was literally having to say, no, I'm okay and I'm gonna think differently about this, but that takes practice. And every day I still do that. It gets easier. But again, I've had a lot of years to make that a fine [00:12:00] tuned habit and now I'm what, a year and a half out from all of this. And it's easier than it was when we started, but it's still it may be something I have to work on for the rest of my life.
But at least once I start to get near that racetrack or I get on, I can usually get myself off. And that is, that's critical because otherwise it just, it becomes that vicious pit and you just go faster and faster and you go deeper and deeper and it just, it serves you no purpose. So. Yes, with the peach and the apple analogy.
Like you meet somebody like Dina, who you heard like all of these incredible things about her and as an objective observer, you know, it's like if everyone else around you is an apple and there's an apple lover, why are you trying to convince an apple lover to appreciate your peaches or whatever?
Instead if you really do embrace who you are and really do step into everything that you are to become, then you find the people who love [00:13:00] purple peaches. Mm-hmm. Right? Instead of wasting your time trying to convince somebody who just doesn't like peaches. Right. To love you. You know what I mean?
Yeah, I do. No, I I get that. We all do it, and I think that's like we're talking about the institution of medicine. Medicine, yes. Needs to be not apples. They need to notice that they have lots of apples within their workforce. And their customers, but they have purple peaches and they have green peaches they got, and they got pineapples, and they need to foster the growth of those unique things because you just can't get that anywhere.
And those are the people that are gonna take care of the apples, but they don't even do it. They make you feel like you are wrong. I'm like, well okay. And there's not a whole lot of physicians that I'm aware of that are like apples. No. Yeah. But the system does not foster that.
The institution of medicine does not foster that. It never has. In my mind. Which leads to the third epiphany thing was about you're trying to be perfect, but you're gonna kill yourself trying. Because that's what I would do. 'Cause [00:14:00] that's what I've learned how to do.
Oh, if I miss a couple of questions on a test, I know how to fix that. I just study harder. Oh, I couldn't do that surgery very fast. What do I do? I practice some more. Oh, because it's within us as physicians. We got here not because somebody dragged us around. It's because of our own energy, time, dedication, and tenacity.
That's why we do this. But that is how we try to fix it too. We try to fix us. I mean, we're in the business of fixing, that's what we do all day. Right. I love it. I mean, even to this day, my husband's like, you wanna fix something? Yeah, I'll go fix the table. Because I don't, yeah. I'm not operating anymore.
But it's fixing a problem. And I think so many of us enjoy doing that. And when you can do it for a human being, that's even better. But you're human. And you are gonna fail and you're gonna make a mistake and there's gonna be an accident that happens even on your best day. And you know, [00:15:00] I know a lot of people that have talked about burnout have had these horrific kind of complications and things, and I've had my fair share, my part wasn't really equated to that, but feeling like you belong once something like that happens.
The institution of medicine. Mm-hmm. Your colleagues don't talk to you 'cause they don't know what to say. Your spouse doesn't know what to say. I mean, luckily for my spouse, you know, he's practiced, so thank God I had that. Or they just, you know, and you're inundated and you are ashamed because. You know, somebody got a bowel injury or, you misdiagnosed something and they succumbed because of those things.
You know, I don't have to go through all that laundry list, but you get what I'm talking about. It's the scarlet letter that you feel everybody is looking at you with. Mm-hmm. So you get therapy or you, god forbid you have to go to court. That's not therapy, but you get what I mean.
It's just, it's treacherous. Yeah. So anytime to me, if there was something wrong, I'm gonna be the one that'll fix it, even if it's me and you know, because I can't fix anybody else, per [00:16:00] se. But if that's the case, that's always how I functioned. I should be able to fix this. Yeah. I couldn't. Yeah, but I just, yeah.
End up trying really hard and I succumb and it just whittles and eats at you and eats at you, and you're like, okay, you're as human as it gets. And then it gets really bad, as you all know. And then you're like, that person doesn't exist anymore. Yes. And it's just sad and pathetic. Really what I'm hearing you describe is a pattern that we see over and over again, and it is as bright young students come into medical school, they've always gotten A's they've gotten gold stars, they have lived on external validation and being told how great they are, or, you know, relying on their environment for their sense of self. Mm-hmm. And when we come into medical practice or even residency.
That is kind of yanked out from under us. And so if we don't develop a strong sense of our own [00:17:00] value outside of being a doctor, outside of our performance and work, then we get in trouble emotionally pretty quickly. And the system capitalizes on our desire to be perfect, on our desire to please and.
Then we get on that kind of different race track. Like we're just trying to do better. Yeah. And there we're being told again how it's not enough. And so what I'm hearing you say is embracing, I've been on that race track. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's nuts. And what you learned with working with Amanda was
how to value yourself and how to really define yourself and what matters to you and how you want to be, not taking reference or advice or you know, criticisms from a system that doesn't have your best interest at heart. And I think that is so powerful. It is, even after coaching's ended, the more and more I think about it, the toxicity of the [00:18:00] environment that I was subjected to for so long, I think it's like when, abusers or whatever, finally stepped back and they just didn't realize how bad it was.
'Cause you have to step away and take a breath or two. And even as I prepared for this, I was like, I wonder if I would've had burnout if I had worked at a different institution where this mentality didn't exist to the level and degree that it did.
Because my spouse is still working. We have a new job and it is a predominantly physician run medical center. It's through the community, but most of the physicians are still private practice, so they still have a voice versus where I was, everybody was employed. I mean, if you were not employed, they weren't even giving you the time of day.
But here, predominantly it's physicians and groups that are private. So as much as administrators don't like it, they have to appease the physicians. Otherwise they go to the other person and take their patients and their ancillary support and their labs and their admissions and their surgeries away, and it's like, yeah, it's the only cloud that you have.
But more and more physicians are becoming employed because it's [00:19:00] harder and harder to do. But you lose everything. You lose yourself. At least I did. And I never, in all those, maybe the first five years, once we moved to PA, did I feel like the administration would. Listen to us and actually enact or have our back to say, Hey, let's do this.
After that, it was, they're just a bunch of whiny doctors. It's like, it's a mind game. It really is. And sadly, physicians, we fall right into that trap because of what you're talking about.
Yep. Yeah, we need the validity. As smart as we are, as hardworking as we are, as all these wonderful things. There are certain things that we all need because that's kind of how we got to that level and you can't. Mm-hmm. What's the resource? I mean, my husband was like, do not talk to me about your stuff today.
'Cause I have my own stuff. I get it. You know? And he deals with it by shoving it in a box and sticking it on a shelf, you know, and that's not who I am. I'm like, I just need to vomit it all out. Right. So it was, it was hard and none of my [00:20:00] friends get it. You know, and I certainly couldn't, you know, I had a few physician friends, but I would call them more acquaintances than anything.
And here I'm training residents, so I did the polar opposite with our residents. I'm like, whatever you need, today's gonna be a good day and you're gonna screw up and it's gonna be okay. So I tried to be something that. I needed my entire career, especially as a female surgeon.
'Cause it's pretty concrete. Yeah. And then you're in the army too, you know? And Yeah. Just because stuff happens and you have to be able to have somebody to just vent to even, it's about how pissed off you are, your husband or your kids or your dog. And it could have nothing to do with medicine, but you need someone you can trust and you can vent to and they can tell you you're okay.
So it sounds like you found that with Amanda. Mm-hmm. And she doesn't accept praise that I give her, but I'm working on it. I knew you would do that. Thank you. I said, how am I gonna do this during this podcast where she's got, I'm gonna get real red in the face, but I'm eternally grateful to her, and I know she's struggling with that.
But thank you very much. [00:21:00] However, practice. I also do like to point out that you did the work though. You know, you can tell somebody what to do and people choose to do it or not, but the insights that you had actually were your own. I just kind of like, in a way opened up your mind so that you could find your own solutions, I guess.
And does that make sense? I don't discount that. You need to give yourself more credit. So many times I'd get off a session and would sometimes last two hours and I'm sorry. But, it would be like, oh my God, one, I knew she got it because she had been in my shoes. And two, I trusted what she was saying. I didn't feel like she was just feeding me full of stuff, so I'd feel better. And then the other part of it was when we would talk about certain issues or how to handle those issues, there was always a reference.
So everything she referenced every. Podcast. Every book, every article, I looked everything up and then I would read about it. Because again, doing medicine, you're like, okay, you know, and they're going, oh wow. You know, just like I was having PTSD symptoms you [00:22:00] could say something to me and I would start to sweat and feel like I was gonna vomit and have palpitations, and I'm like, oh my God.
And I learned that forever. We thought that these. Memories can't change. But there's research that says they can. And when something starts to happen, you have to vent it off because it's 99% anxiety, which is a fear of something's gonna happen that only 1% of the time happens. And I'm smart. Yeah. So I get that.
Yes. Okay. So let me try it out. I'll just do my own experiment and let's see. And so that's kind of how I approached it. So, but no, I think that those were all the things that. It benefited me so much. My big thing is I wish I would've known about coaching or specifically you all, probably 10 years ago, you know, retrospectively, would I have done something?
I don't know. 'Cause again, I didn't think it was burnout, but I'll tell you, I wouldn't have waited as long as I did if I would've known what I did. I mean, I was ready to give up medicine at least seven years ago. 'Cause I just had enough. I just, I hated going to work [00:23:00] and. Other than to get dressed up, I just couldn't stand it.
So same, I wonder too, like if this had even been available, which it wasn't right back when I was at my worst, like, would I have even been ready to go there? I don't know. Yeah. Because I was so entrenched with like, it's the system's fault and I don't know that I would've been open to Yeah. But what about the things that you could do? I don't know if I could have even gone there. Yeah. And if nothing else, yes, it is the system's fault, and you need to know how to strategize, how to be healthy and have its impact on you minimized. You need to know how to take care of yourself in ways that a system that takes advantage of you doesn't necessarily want you to know,
so no. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a double-edged sword. Those gifts that you have are also your weaknesses, and you'll do whatever you can to keep doing that, because that's what we've all done. That's how we've been successful, but it's usually to our detriment, whether it's to ourselves, to our [00:24:00] families, to our spouses, to our patients, to, you name it.
I mean, you're just trying to go minute by minute and hoping that you can get up the next day and not have a nervous breakdown, so, right.
Yeah. It's just so abnormal to be in survival mode for decades. You know, that can't be, that's not normal unless you're a doctor because. Oh yeah, a lot of, and then it's normal. Yeah. Get up one more day. Hey, we're short staffed. Can't you pick up one more? So you still see those 20 patients and you do those surgeries because you know, they're just nurses.
They all know the same thing. Oh God. Yeah, of course. Oh yeah. So that's so funny. If you had to describe one pivotal moment or insight that changed everything for you, would you say it was the purple peach, or what would you say to that? Yeah, again, there were so many, and I'm not exaggerating.
I think that or the racetrack just that I can control getting on the racetrack. And I never thought I could and I'd never really thought of it that way, but also because I know myself as a person and the world as much as I should not do [00:25:00] this, the world and what they think of me is important.
So the Purple Peach theory was very groundbreaking for me because it's okay that the apples, and that's what I would always say. I'm like, why can't people just be nice to me? What the hell did I do to them? I show up to work every day. I do great surgery. I'm usually begging for more patients. You know, what's the deal?
Is it envy? Is it, they just, they can't manipulate me. But whatever it was, it was never good enough. What do you mean you got a 90 on your Press Ganey? Oh no, you need 97. Oh, okay. You know, and don't get me started on Press Ganey, but well, your nurse can't come in, so you can still see all these. Do you know what I do for a living?
Okay. I am not a skin doctor, nor do I listen to hearts, so, you know. No, not doing that. Can't do it by yourself. Not doing that? No. Oh, well, we'll get the girl who runs the front desk to come and help you. Well, she'll quit too. She doesn't know what she signed up for. I am so thankful that you're coming on today because I think there [00:26:00] is a little bit of a misconception that if you come to coaching, we're gonna gaslight you into staying where you are and making it work and putting your head down
and continuing on, as you mentioned, we are not employed by the hospitals, so we're a third party. What would you say to a physician who's still kind of skeptical about trying coaching with us or anyone else?
Well, of course, you know, mine was a success story, right? So, I can understand hesitancy again. It's part of who we are. We're supposed to be perfect. We have feelings. I guess we're supposed to, but not really. There's nothing wrong with us. If we're narcissistic, it's everybody else so they can fix them.
I'm just fine. I really look at it as, again, when you look at how much a Starbucks coffee costs and you look at how much therapy on your insurance costs, this is a bargain, if anything, just to talk to somebody for two hours. So I don't mean it that way, but you know what I'm saying? And, and no, it's only an hour.
So, but I think you should look at it as the glass isn't half empty. It's half full. It's how you look at it. And the way I look [00:27:00] at it is I had nothing to lose. What were you gonna do? Call my ex-employer, call my husband, say, man, she's crazy, not like me. You know what I mean? And I think it just, I can understand that.
But it's like when you say you don't have time to exercise, you do. It's just you don't want to. Mm. Okay. I didn't say it was gonna be easy, but you gotta take a leap of faith. 'Cause I think the old saying is, if you never try, you already failed. So. I love that because I like to liken it to going to the gym for your brain.
It's kind of like that. 'Cause we're building new brain pathways. Mm-hmm. We're building new brain muscles, so to speak. Yes. And that's, well it, it's like medicine. That's what you've described doing. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. I had to learn something new. I went back to school to learn how to deal with what the world was handing me and not let it make me self-destruct.
And I'd really had never been taught that. Yeah, is it even ethical that we study 10,000 hours to take care of others and nothing for what to do when things go wrong other than just be [00:28:00] perfect. There is no other game plan. Well, great. 'Cause I don't know about you, but that's not how it turned out for my entire career.
Like there were times that I think I missed something or whatever, but I didn't know what to do after that other than just beat myself up. Yes. So, which wasn't the best strategy for sure. Thank you so much for joining us. Is there anything we forgot to ask or anything you wanted to add before we close out?
No, I think I hit all the bullet points. I think you guys did a fabulous job. Again, I am eternally grateful and I really appreciate all that you guys, you know, as you come across my screen today, but even in my little search on the internet, it worked out very well for me.
And I know that others have asked about my experience, and I've said, it's worth every penny. You do have the time, you owe it to yourself and you wanna be happy. But we're asking people outside of us to make us that way, and that doesn't work. [29:00]
And I know that others have asked about my experience, and I've said, it's worth every penny. You do have the time, you owe it to yourself and you want to be happy. But we're asking people outside of us to make us that way, and that doesn't work. So you have to get it from somewhere else, but you have to process that information differently so you can go, "Hey, I do like me, even if I have some screw ups."
So keep doing what you're doing 'cause it worked. Thank you.
Thank you Dina so much. Absolutely. It was a pleasure. It's good to see you guys again.
Yeah, it's great to see you and thanks for sharing your story and the bravery and courage it took to tell your transformation on air. Thank you very much. We're so grateful that you trusted us to be a part of your journey, come alongside you and give you what you needed.
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