10 Ways to Handle a Workplace Bully

Physicians absorb a lot of harsh words in the course of a demanding job, often from patients or family members having the worst day of their lives, or from an exhausted consultant on the other end of a phone call. That's simply part of the territory. But genuine workplace bullying is a different matter entirely, and left unaddressed, it can derail an otherwise good shift or working relationship repeatedly.

HR leader and workplace wellbeing coach Megan Rose has outlined ten concrete, psychology-informed strategies for handling exactly this kind of situation.

1. Understand the Bully's Motivation

Bullying behavior typically stems from underlying insecurity or a need for control and dominance. This isn't about excusing the behavior, it's about depersonalizing it enough to respond with a clearer head rather than getting emotionally hijacked by it.

2. Keep Emotions in Check

A bully who intentionally provokes is often seeking a reaction, anger, anxiety, visible upset, as a kind of psychological reward. Maintaining composure, even briefly stepping away to breathe or reset, denies that reward. A few useful, low-key responses to keep in reserve: "Are you okay?" "Let's move on." "You're right." "That's enough." "I've been called worse." Responses like these acknowledge the moment without escalating it or handing over emotional fuel.

3. Set Firm Boundaries

When a line gets crossed, calm and direct assertion matters, clearly naming the behavior as unacceptable and reaffirming expected professional standards. An actual boundary requires a real plan: an initial warning, followed by ending the conversation or leaving the situation if it continues, followed by formal reporting if the pattern persists. A boundary describes your own response, it doesn't depend on the other person choosing to change.

4. Document the Behavior

Keeping a detailed, dated record, what was said or done, when, and who witnessed it, is essential groundwork for demonstrating a genuine pattern if the situation eventually needs to be escalated formally.

5. Build a Support Network

Genuine allies provide both emotional support and validation, which matters significantly when navigating an ongoing difficult dynamic.

6. Use Assertive Communication

Bullies are often accustomed to either passive or aggressive responses. Assertive communication, expressing feelings and needs directly and honestly while still maintaining respect for the other person, tends to be genuinely disarming, occupying a middle ground the bully may not know how to counter effectively.

7. Leverage Social Proof

Bullying tends to thrive on isolating the target. Building genuine consensus among colleagues that the behavior isn't acceptable shifts the broader social dynamic. When a bully recognizes that their behavior is publicly disapproved of rather than quietly tolerated, that visibility itself can discourage continued behavior.

8. Try "Fogging"

Fogging involves agreeing with any genuine truths embedded in a critical statement, without agreeing to be harassed or diminished by it. This defuses confrontation without allowing the criticism to land personally. For example: "I know this consult may seem unnecessary to you, but it's the required step before this patient can be transferred."

9. Consider the Ben Franklin Effect

There's a well-documented psychological pattern where people tend to like someone more after doing them a favor, largely due to cognitive dissonance, the mind working to justify the effort already given. Asking a difficult colleague for a small, low-stakes favor can occasionally shift the relationship in a genuinely positive direction. Author Robert Cialdini, in Influence, notes that requests framed with a clear reason ("because...") tend to be received considerably more favorably than requests without one.

10. Pick Battles Wisely

Not every incident requires direct confrontation. Weighing the actual severity and impact of a given situation helps determine when standing firm is genuinely warranted, and when redirecting energy toward self-care and support is the more strategic choice.

The Bottom Line

Workplace bullying is a real, disruptive force distinct from the ordinary friction of a demanding clinical job, and it deserves a deliberate, strategic response rather than simple endurance. These ten approaches, from managing personal reaction to building documentation and support, offer a genuinely practical toolkit for addressing it directly.

FAQ

How is workplace bullying different from the ordinary stress of dealing with difficult patients? Difficult patient interactions typically stem from acute distress in a specific moment. Workplace bullying is a recurring, targeted pattern of behavior from a colleague, generally rooted in that person's own need for control or dominance, and it requires a distinctly different, more deliberate response.

Why does staying calm actually help when someone is trying to provoke a reaction? A provoker is often seeking an emotional reaction as a form of psychological reward. Withholding that reaction, through composure and a prepared, low-key response, removes the reward and can reduce the incentive for continued provocation.

What does "fogging" mean as a communication technique? Fogging involves acknowledging any genuine truth in a critical statement without accepting the harassment or personal attack embedded in it, which defuses the confrontation without escalating it further.

When should workplace bullying be formally reported rather than handled directly? When direct approaches, boundary-setting, assertive communication, haven't resolved the pattern, or when the behavior is severe enough to warrant formal documentation and escalation to HR, reporting becomes the appropriate next step.