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#9: Thought Errors 5/5

In this episode, we continue with the 4th of the 5 part series on the 15 most common thought errors. In episodes #3-4 we went over how to try to identify the thought that is causing your negative (or positive) feelings. After you’ve processed the feeling, it’s important to look at if the causative thought is even true, useful in any way, or if there are any other alternatives to consider.  This series starts to examine the thought to consider if it falls within any of the 15 most common thought errors. 

Distortions 13-15/15:

  • Fallacy of change - when we think others need to change in order for us to be happy. In reality, we are responsible for our own happiness. We can’t control other adults, so needing them to be other than who they are is an exercise in frustration.
  • Fallacy of fairness - getting stuck because something isn’t fair or equal. The truth is living on earth has rarely or ever been fair
  • Heaven’s reward fallacy - expecting rewards based on merit. Since in reality things are rarely fair, we need to live in accordance with our own integrity rather than expecting acknowledgement, promotion, etc for good deeds or hard work.


  • “The best gift I can give myself is loving myself unconditionally in the same way that we were needing that validation from a supposed or partner…”
  • “One of the most important things that we could do for ourselves…was to start loving ourselves as we are.”
  • “When you fight reality, you lose every time.”
  • “We decide who we are, and that’s how we show up, whether we get reward or appreciation or not.”
  • “If you’re motivated to do the things that you do expecting some sort of return on it, then that’s an exchange.”
  • “As we do that and create our own reward, we’re less reliant on- we are less likely to transfer our power to somebody else, expecting them to make us feel good.”
  • "It is all about becoming the person that you know you can be."
  • "You are enough, and your worth is not in what you do or what you say or what you accomplish."


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